Hobos and Gypsies

Last night my friend and I went on an adventure in which the whole goal was to contract hepetitis C. Seriously, there is nothing more compelling then the thought of getting a disease that doesn't have a cure, destroys your liver and turns your eyes yellow. Imagine that, yellow eyes for crying out loud! I hear that all the girls in Asia love a guy with yellow eyes. So last night's goal was really just to get ourselves looking hot for the asian nation. Three words, Rush Hour 3!!! That actually turned out to be two words and one number. Snap. Speaking of Asian's we also located the restaurant "China China" which has evaded me for years. Now I feel much better because they have the best seasame-seed chicken. I almost said that they have the best orange chicken but that would be a dirty lie. Panda Express has the best orange chicken. Not the best bathrooms, but for sure the best orange chicken. The Farm Grill has the best bathrooms. Stop by to take a dump sometime. Anywho back to the pursuit to destroy our immune system, the local light rail seemed like a good place to start so we hopped on and rode downtown being very careful to touch all of the hand rails and to sit in all the seats. There are no seat belts in the light rail. And basically zero supervision. Next time we're briging a laptop to watch a movie. A laptop and a pizza. Why not, I like laptops and I defininetly like pizza. I do not particularly like the homeless. Hmmm, something tells me the pizza might make the homeless curious. Ok scratch the pizza we'll just bring the laptop, and a gun. Well my friend thought it would be a good idea to strike up a conversation with a nice old man who was also waiting for the train. A nice old man that liked to talk and talk and talk. Mostly about prostitutes and bong hits. Apparently the kind man had recently taken no less than 13 bong hits and then promptly died. That's right, he was back from the dead. Luckily for us his grandson who was also apparently getting lit with his grand pappy at the time, had the frame of mind to take action and punched the old man in the chest and revived him from his "hydro" overload. I apoloigze half-heartedly for the poor poor grammar used in that last sentence. I've actually never heard of anyone dying from weed. High speed accidents, yes, cancer, yes, shark attack, yes. Too many hits from the bong... No. And that was where the senior citizen lost his credibility with me.