Dry Cleaning

What is the definition of crazy? If crazy is driving half way across town to drop off your dry cleaning when there are probably a dozen closer cleaners then go ahead and put my name up on the crazy board. If the boards listing those individuals who are inneficient and wasters of gas/time are close by and it's not too much trouble, then go ahead and chalk my name on those boards as well. As I was saying, I drive a good distance for good dry cleaning. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just my cross to bear but I have gone through all of my adult, dry cleaning applicable life without even once being pleased with the results of laundered clothing. Until now. I'm not quite sure what the difference is, all the normal factors are in place: Located in a strip mall, check, asian owned, check, mexican operated, check. Everything checks out just the same as any other cleaners I've been to but this one is different. For once I don't have double creased pants. If I wanted double creases I'd do it myself. I'm pretty sure I could even double crease my pants while blindfolded. Many thanks to my new exlusive dry cleaner. I don't care if I move to Thatcher, I'm bringing my dress pants to him. Now that's brand loyalty.

Wilderness Survival

I'm pretty sure I've enjoyed camping for as long as I've been able to breathe. That's right, immediately after leaving the womb I grabbed a leatherman, cut the umbilical cord and promptly pitched a tent. I mean set up a tent. This weekend I rounded up my favorite red headed camping co-pilot and headed down a pavement road to a dirt road to a camp site underneath some power lines. I'm not really sure where we were but I'm pretty sure that everyone else was there too. I don't love busy camping areas. I prefer to be in complete solitude. Lessons learned while camping, if they look fake, they are. If you're with a marathon runner, don't ask him about it. If you're not invited, don't show up. Right before dinner. With nothing to offer other than a push up bra. Ok so maybe that would be adequate but lose 40lbs first. Don't drink and fish. If you drink and fish, don't fall in the lake. If you do drink, fish, and fall in the lake, take in a few lungs full of water and check out. If you plan on camping in a tent, it will rain. Water is bad for dutch ovens. Very very bad. It's hard to wash your hands after using the bathroom. If you're a girl it's hard to use the bathroom period. If you're a girl on your period, don't go camping. Period.

I'm going, going back, back to Cali, Cali

Ok so I'm not really going back to Cali, but I did go back last weekend and now I've returned. I wonder if I could go 24 hours expressing myself just by using lyrics from Notorious B.I.G's hip-hop tick-tock? That's worth a try some day when I'm feeling especially gangster. And especially annoying. I don't know what it is but something about getting in the truck and driving west till I hit the coast just does it for me. Not so much the scenery in between, heaven knows Blythe is no diamond in the rough, but once you get past the windmill farm in Quartsite things really start to look up. One more comment or should I say question, what in the world is the allure of Palm Springs? From the freeway it looks like a big trailer park in the middle of the desert. A really crappy part of the desert. A big trailer park with low end trailers and sick palm trees. Something tells me they have a petting zoo there. And a flee market. And an abortion clinic. One day my curiosity will get the best of me and I'll check it out. Something tells me I'm going to be disappointed. Or just not surprised at the lameness. Anyways at some point I arrived at my destination with a little help from my GPS and a little more help from my 44 oz Big Gulp of Mt. Dew. Thankfully my prostate is in good working order (I guess) so I didn't have to stop for a million pee breaks like my dear father. Heaven help me when that day comes. Anyways, getting sidetracked with the problems of a 50 year old man was not really my purpose of this post so lets get on with it. Cali was great. Beautiful weather, good friends, good music, good beach, and good food. I plan most of my trips around where I'm going to eat. One of the biggest disappointments of the trip was when we cruised up to the local T.K. Burger in Huntington 2 minutes too late. Granted I wasn't even slightly hungry but I hate having traditions interrupted. Blast. Luckily my friend Becca had two spec-freaking-tacular Mexican food places to take me to which blew my boots off. I dare say the carne asada was better than anything I've found even in Arizona. And probably even better than anything I've found in Mexico. Sorry Mexico, sometimes it seems like we do everything better in America, even Mexican. Lo siento. So, even though I got pink eye, which I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten since I was three weeks past my second birthday, the trip was a great success. Special thanks to Becca and Ra Ra. No thanks to Lisa who could possibly be the most obnoxiously annoying person I've ever met. No really, I think I will bill her for the years of schooling that she may have cost me. I'm pretty sure my IQ suffered and it's a miracle I can go for more than three words without saying "like". I'm pretty sure she beat that word into my head. I'm not a fan of the valley girl. Go back to the valley. Just not this valley. Thank you.